ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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