But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
