He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
