how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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