I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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