im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
