I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
