dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
