Umm I'm too high to move.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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