Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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