This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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