New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
