You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
