i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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