You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
