wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
