i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
