I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
