Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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