if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
