discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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