when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
