just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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