just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
