I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
