I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize