I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
