Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
