he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
