All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
