Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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