He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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