i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
