I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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