did you get engaged???
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
