when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
