Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize