my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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