I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize