Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
