Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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