So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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