They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love having hate sex.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
