He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
