evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
