she woke up with a sticky ear
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This is the high leading the old right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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