so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
