You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
