Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
