Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
