gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was confusing and full of hummus
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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