I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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