i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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