the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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