I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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