So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
