It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
