Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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