That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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