idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
