I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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