A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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