Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
