when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he puts the penis in happiness.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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