did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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